I never thought I could stick with a job
I landed my real job around my 27s. Until that, I never thought I could stick with a job. I had a fear of working at a job.
Because the idea of having a money -business- relationship with a boss or a corporate company had always scared me.
Knowing that I'm expected to produce valuable output because someone pays me was making me feeling depressed. Because I knew that our relationship was gonna depend of the money.
Who I am, what I like, my character don't really matter. I mean, maybe they might matter but what matters more is how much value/money I can create in the business.
So I always thought "I will never be able to stick with a job because I can't maintain a money related relationship with anyone. Because it just feels wrong." Yeah I know it sounds childish and it actually probably is.
After starting my job as a translator, I noticed that I'm just working like billions of people in the world and actually sticking with it.
I'm still surprised that I'm able to stick with it. Like I'm waking up every morning in at 06:00 AM and leaving for work even though I hate waking up that early, lol. It gave me confidence that I can overcome some of my fears in life.
There is an invisible get-up-and-go force in working, like, it doesn't matter if you like it or not. You just go for it everyday.